terrible day..
it's really a sad morning
the sky were crying..
well, i think this is really not the good day
i destroyed everything..
cold morning...
I let myself be buffeted by wind and rain
when i realized it.. i'm really something -__-
i really didn't know what should i do with myself
when i tried to hold this cold feel.. everything just got worse
"hurts .. i want to get away from this place... I have to go to a place where no one can find me.. i need to be alone... i can't let anyone see this part of me"
i keep hide my face behind the wall
it feels like i will fall...
this body is so light
sick?
i don't know what happen to myself..
i spent my day with all this horrible feeling
yeah.. without even know nor understand about it
"i can't just sit here waiting for something i don't even understand"
i'm stuck
in this little room
why i have to be here?
i can't stay in this place
if everything's got any worse .. i really can't take it anymore
i'm all alone..
at my point of view
i'm just seeing others...
smile...
just if i can really do that... maybe it would be very nice
although i really want to be together with everyone..
when i try to make it.. situations will be changed and people will leave me again
just like everyone do
for some reason.. lately i feel like this is part of me
being alone and can't easily talk with everyone
it is like that's my normal self
and now i become used to things like this
sit there all alone like i really don't have any friends at all
and i don't feel anything strange about it
since i don't know what to do about it
when people try to talk to me.. i will be happy
but then.. i'll mess up again and again
and now i'll be really scared if someone's talk to me
i just feel i want to run and leave quickly
it's get more difficult for me to talk to someone
when someone stare at me
i feel my body's trembling.. i can't move
i keep try to hold it all the time
people are scary
i can't understand what they even think
"it's bad... i'm gonna cry"
and i've ever cried before...
this is really a terrible day
i don't think that it will turn out to be like this
i'm used to be alone
and that makes me show this other side...
the "me who stay away from the others"
the "me who can't interact with others"
the "me who can't understand the others"
the "me who afraid with others"
the "me who cry easily"
it's really bad >A<
i can't help it
and today i'm really not feeling well
with this condition
this day
this season
this world
everything seems wrong in my way
i ended up standing alone outside the room and looking around
clouds are so white.. even so the rain's really hard
the wind blows
i feel relieved in some ways
looking up at the sky
this time for sure.. i'm gonna cry
i hope no one realize that i'm here
everything's begin to appear in my mind
the memories that keep going until now...
will i be able to keep it forever?
i don't want to lose it
although i'm starting to change from now on
and the feeling inside my self will be soon change too...
i don't want to forget all about it
even if i can't stay be myself till the end
i'm going to protect it all
this me..
the present me
will it makes everything ends?
and i'm still here..
feel this world...
imagine about my dream.. and believe i'll reach it someday. . .
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